As Fat As I Wanna Be

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I’m a bad fat. I can’t lie and say I do the HAES thing. I don’t exercise. The majority of what I eat is junk/fast food and I eat when I’m not really hungry. I had my gallbladder out not because I merely had gallstones but because I didn’t put the effort into avoiding foods high in fat so I kept having attacks. Yeah, all my numbers and levels are great, I have a super low cardiac risk score, and I don’t have any health problems because of my fat. But that’s definitely not by design.

When someone is fat shamed, the person doing the shaming often justifies it as them being concerned for the fat person’s health. Of course we know that’s bullshit. Fatphobia has nothing to do with health, if someone was really concerned they wouldn’t harp on it to the detriment of fat people’s self esteem. And a ton of fat people can attest that they eat healthily and exercise. I however, cannot. So is the health argument justified in my case? Well, no, because fat also has nothing to do with health. It’s the food I eat that’s the issue. It’s the fact that I eat when I’m definitely not physically hungry. It’s my lack of exercise.

Regardless, I shouldn’t be expected to prove that oh well I’m trying really hard not to be fat but OMG I’m still fat so leave me alone! If I’m fat by design then so fucking what, I’m “choosing to be fat”. Of course I would still be fat if I ate well, didn’t overeat and exercised, though I might be less fat. But guess what, I don’t really give a shit right now. I am the stereotypical lazy fat person, and I have a right to be that if I damn well please. I’m not repping for the entire FA movement. I’m not trying to set an example. And really, if it’s unacceptable to be a non-HAES fat then how can we say we’re accepting fat? We’re only accepting it if you make sure to do everything right but are still fat? We say fat isn’t a choice. Is it wrong if it is? I’ve gained roughly 10 pounds or so (I’m guessing by the way my clothes fit) since my surgery simply because I’ve chosen to not follow the rules. But that’s my choice and I am sure as shit not going to be shamed by either HAES enthusiasts or bigoted fatphobes.

It seems like whenever a fat person is included in a discussion in the media about the health risks of being fat they have to show their “I really do have healthy habits” card. I’m waiting for a fat person to sit there and be like, yeah, I have shitty eating habits, so what. Because really, it’s none of anyone’s business why I’m fat or what steps I take to “counteract” the fat with healthy choices. I’m not going to judge you and I expect not to be judged. And if I stop eating like shit and lose the weight I gained I don’t want to hear the bullshit about weight loss being anathema. My body, my weight, my choices, my health, MY BUSINESS.

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91 Responses to As Fat As I Wanna Be

  1. icedteaandlemoncake. May 8, 2010 at 8:29 pm #

    it seems to be that the 'health' card is the one thing that people justify a moral panic with. it's like the people doing the lecturing think they have perfect health, and that bothers me the most. it's so fucking arrogant! thin people are able to admit that they eat like crap, and they just get the 'oh that's so cute' reaction. kudos on admitting that you eat not so great. i say that i eat less than perfectly and the health lectures get freaking overwhelming.

  2. Heather Flescher May 8, 2010 at 11:21 pm #

    I shouldn’t be expected to prove that oh well I’m trying really hard not to be fat

    I think the shamers want to see you as a victim. If you told them you were doing everything you possibly could to lose weight, but you were helpless before the cruel forces of nature, they could murmur their sympathy and feel somewhat comfortable. But when you stand firm with no excuses or apologies, it really freaks them out.

  3. eli May 9, 2010 at 4:20 am #

    As a corollary to what you've said, Heather, I also I think the shamers are really angry at people who opt out of the hamster wheeling.

    Like, how dare you eat whatever you want and not exercise when I'm eating salads and treadmilling three hours a day – bitterness and jealousy.

    • living400lbs May 9, 2010 at 9:41 pm #

      It might also have to do with why they're doing the hamster wheeling. I do it because when I don't it fucking hurts to just walk around my fucking house. And to drive. And to stand. And to sit. Which is pretty much my entire life. So, yeah, pain all the goddamn time or do hamster wheeling, gee, let me think really hard here, I'm not sure which of these I want. [/sarcasm]

      I don't give a shit who else is doing what or how much other people lift, as long as they're not in my way, and yeah, that surprised some of the folks at the last gym I belonged to. Now I use the mini-gym at work where people just do their workouts and let me do mine. It's nice.

    • Tasha Fierce May 9, 2010 at 9:51 pm #

      Eli, what do you mean by "hamster wheeling"?

      I seriously have no idea what that means in this context.

  4. Kate May 9, 2010 at 12:17 pm #

    Awesome post. I often fall into the defending myself as a "good" fattie trap, even though I'm not always, and I kind of hate myself for it because it is no one's business.

    Thank you for the post.

    • Amy May 20, 2010 at 8:15 pm #

      As a thin person, I can assure you that skinny people eat doughnuts. Personally, I like them filled with Bavarian cream and covered with caramel icing.

  5. silentbeep May 9, 2010 at 12:52 pm #

    " if it’s unacceptable to be a non-HAES fat" It's not unacceptable, as far as I'm concerned. Fat rights are fat rights, period.

  6. silentbeep May 9, 2010 at 1:00 pm #

    also: what is a shaming HAES enthusiast? what does that look like? Not being snarky, I want to know what you are referring to exactly. I'm a death fatty that likes HAES, I practice it personally 'cause I like it to so much, but I am also firmly for fat rights absolutely regardless of what fat people do with their own eating/exercise habits.

    • Tasha Fierce May 9, 2010 at 2:10 pm #

      I don't think that everyone who does HAES is out to shame those who don't. Most aren't. But I feel like embracing HAES is something that some fat activists expect you to do if you're to be part of the FA movement. At least I've dealt with a few like that. Mainly because they feel it makes fat people look bad if we're saying we eat Twinkies every day and lay around watching TV. That's what/who I'm talking about.

      • silentbeep May 9, 2010 at 6:22 pm #

        "At least I’ve dealt with a few like that. Mainly because they feel it makes fat people look bad if we’re saying we eat Twinkies every day and lay around watching TV. That’s what/who I’m talking about."

        I'm sorry that's been your experience . That makes me feel sad. Well, thank you for writing this for you perspective and providing some insight.

  7. LexieDi May 9, 2010 at 11:58 pm #

    Awesome!

    I like exercise… sometimes. Meaning, not usually. But sometimes. And I love veggies, but I like honey walnut shrimp and fresh baked bread more.

    I do the HAES thing when I feel like doing the HAES thing. I run, I jump, I dance, sing, play, laugh, have fun… But if I really want to just sleep, I'm going to do that. And if I really just want to eat that brownie, I'm gonna do that.

    Why? My justification?

    I want to. That's all anyone needs to know.

  8. wriggles May 10, 2010 at 6:04 am #

    Well said. Healthist dogma is often just as flawed from FA as it is in general.

  9. Atchka! May 10, 2010 at 7:35 am #

    Great post. And it's nice for someone to admit that they aren't living the recommended healthy lifestyle. I'm not either, but I do promote HAES and the ability to be fat and healthy because that message is completely lost in the current obesity panic.

    Basically, I think it's important for people to know that you get to choose your life (whether it's eating decadent foods, smoking, drinking, driving fast, working too hard, being an asshole, whatever) and I get to choose mine. So, if I'm fat because I eat too much, cool. But if I were to audit your life, I bet I could find some health issues to latch onto and turn into a public health crisis.

    On the other hand, assuming that all fat people are gluttonous sloths is no better than assuming all Irish are drunkards, all black youths are criminals or whatever stereotype people subscribe to. There is this thing called HAES and if you are fat and want to be healthy without dieting, this is a scientifically sound possibility.

    So, I promote HAES, even though I myself am not living HAES (although I am making tiny changes and taking baby steps toward lifestyle change), I see it as a great tool to educate people on the reasons why the fat=glutton myth is unfair.

    Thanks for taking a stand. You rock.

    Peace,
    Shannon

  10. 2thebones May 10, 2010 at 11:53 am #

    Thanks!
    U just make me breath out…like, yep- I'm Ok, I'm not alone.
    I was fat all my life. Then turn to skinny- in extrimly fast way. Well here's my health problem starts. Here's my weight come back. And leave me alone- I'm comfortable like that.

    Thanks!

  11. leavingnormal May 10, 2010 at 3:10 pm #

    I have a chronic physical illness. I have mental illness. And I'm fat. Sometimes the only thing that helps me feel okay about myself is eating, movies, books and reading articles like yours. Thanks for your article.

    • Tasha Fierce May 11, 2010 at 2:12 pm #

      Thank you for commenting! I'm glad I could help you.

  12. Sabrina May 10, 2010 at 6:45 pm #

    This post is WONDERFUL! I made the commitment about 4 months ago, after another lengthy debate on the anti-fat agenda that I would no longer discuss what my personal habits were. Before that, I often used my personal eating and physical activity behavior to show that not all fat people were overeating, non-exercising folks. But in the end, it doesn't matter! Even if we were, it's not about how we live. The size diversity and fat acceptance movement is about equal rights, the end to hate and stigma and the responsibility the medical industry has to stop telling lies whose only purpose is to serve social discrimination and unfounded hysteria.

    I equate it to the following anecdote I experienced in high school: I had a ultra-liberal white English teacher. An advanced placement class in suburban San Diego, my class consisted primarily of upper middle class white kids, with myself, my best friend and one or 2 other kids being students of color. One day, the teacher went on a crying jag to this class about how he yelled at some black kids in another class who were sitting at the back of the class. "Don't they know that's what we marched for in the 60's – so they can sit at the front?!" His frustration went over most of the kids' heads and the few who understood his grievance, nodded their heads in white-guilt sympathy.

    Although I didn't say it (I didn't have the "fight" in me that day) I thought to myself, "No jerk. You all marched so I could have the CHOICE! You telling me I have to be at the front is just as bad as you telling me I have to be at the back. Got it?!"

    Where the parallel lies with this post it that in ANY struggle for equal rights and against hate, we should NEVER be REQUIRED to embody what the oppressor would accept as a "good" representative of our subjugated group – be that the HAES-fatty, front-of-the-bus-sitting black person, monogamous and non-flamboyant gay man or the feminine feminist as examples. Who we are as individuals is essentially irrelevant to struggle to gain the rights we are entitled to as a group.

    You feel me?

  13. Naughty Monkey May 14, 2010 at 1:32 pm #

    Amen, sister! Amen!

  14. Amber May 14, 2010 at 4:41 pm #

    I LOVE THIS. I have nothing of value to contribute. Just wanted to say, HELL YEAH.

  15. Angelina May 15, 2010 at 4:35 pm #

    I love this damn post. Girl, you know I go back and forth with my own commitment to being "healthy" which generally tends to be at odds with keeping my brain from not turning on me. i love what you've written because I have seen the same sentiment expressed by folks on the thin end of the spectrum and have those thoughts supported and celebrated.

    So again, it's not about the fat, which you so expertly expressed here, but the fact that as fat people we need to be apologizing for our existence (being held to more strict standards of consumption and physical activity) either by diets that end up fucking us up or by being fat but constantly having to justify our "choice" to stay that way with bullshit bravado or some kind of movement, which eats its own (so to speak) in attempt to achieve "rights" for all of us.

    I'm chubby. I eat better than I used to. I exercise because it's cheaper than pharmies and has proved about as successful. I don't think my ability to run a decent mile or eat a salad makes me any better or more useful than ANYONE regardless of their bodies who doesn't.

    • Tasha Fierce May 16, 2010 at 4:08 am #

      So again, it’s not about the fat, which you so expertly expressed here, but the fact that as fat people we need to be apologizing for our existence (being held to more strict standards of consumption and physical activity) either by diets that end up fucking us up or by being fat but constantly having to justify our “choice” to stay that way with bullshit bravado or some kind of movement, which eats its own (so to speak) in attempt to achieve “rights” for all of us.

      I feel like some fat activists will throw you to the wolves if you don't fit the mold of the good fat. Which is a shame because we really should be promoting acceptance of choices and not just tolerance of fat bodies.

  16. Tasha Fierce May 16, 2010 at 4:04 am #

    You're welcome. Don't hate yourself for trying to stay sane amidst fat shaming. Our first instinct is to protect ourselves from it and saying you eat well and exercise can sometimes make the fat shamers lay off.

  17. Dawn. May 16, 2010 at 9:31 am #

    Hell yes. :)

    In a way, I can empathize with the "my body, my business" attitude that goes along with fat acceptance. I'm not razor-thin or physically fit, but I'm not fat either (size 8) so I call myself a fat acceptance ally.

    My empathy comes from the fact that I smoke cigarettes and everyone and their Mama thinks it's totally cool to shame me for it. Because apparently I'm super gross and need to be told all about it. Thanks for the shame party, guys. Oh wait, it's my body, so maybe you should STFU.

    The only concern I have about anything you wrote here is: fast food. I have a seething passionate hate for fast food corporations and it always makes me a little sad when otherwise amazing people regularly support those companies.

    Yes, there are a lot of soul-sucking, monstrous, environmentally hazardous companies out there. But fast food corporations have totally manipulated the way we produce food in this country. Thanks in no small part to them, we have a seriously unsustainable food system that is wreaking havoc on our environment.

    I'm not trying to police your food choices or imply you're "bad," because obviously I'm no fan of that. I just hate fast food for what its done to our food system.

    • firefey May 19, 2010 at 3:47 pm #

      ok, but saying that you have an issue with their business model and what the company has done to the environment is WAY different from policing what goes into anyone's mouth. and you know what? i am glad that people are making noise about corn subsidies and the price of whole foods. but more important is not making that into an argument with a punchline about how bad i am for participating by eating a wendy's burger. unless i ASK, nobody has a right to talk about what i'm eating. unless it's to ask me if i think it's tasty.

  18. Dawn. May 16, 2010 at 9:32 am #

    Oops, I meant "size 8."

  19. grendelkhan May 16, 2010 at 6:45 pm #

    I've heard "hamster wheeling" used to refer to repetitive, boring cardio, e.g. walking on a tradmill or biking in place endlessly. Some folks complain that it makes them feel like hamsters going 'round and 'round in their little wheels.

  20. IrishUp May 17, 2010 at 7:56 am #

    I loved this post! Loved seeing it at Jezebel too, although I do not waste SA points reading or commenting there.

    There is a way that HAES gets used that seems parallel to me with the discussions about non-cis sexuality: like it's ok to be $_X (queer, fat) if that's your BIOLOGY, but somehow it's not as OK if it's your CHOICE. Whut.the.fuck!!!!

    Do we each have the right to live like we wanna, or not, people?!?! And isn't what we "want" using our brains AT LEAST as important as whatever biological predispositions we may have?

  21. persephone May 17, 2010 at 2:18 pm #

    Thank you for this. Since I've started my journey into FA I've felt more guilty about what I eat than before – like I have to prove to anyone that I'm not just a delusional fattie.
    I wish I could be like you. (Well, I don't like junk food much, but other than that.) I wish I wouldn't feel guilty panic whenever I ate a meal without veggies or finished all the cookies I made in one day.
    So Thank You. It's not anybody's business what anybody else eats. It's one's body, and therefore one's choice. That's all there is to it.

  22. FW May 17, 2010 at 4:02 pm #

    I think in many ways it kind of lets the non-FAers win when we try to push the idea that to be a 'good' fat rights activist you have to work as hard as you can towards living a haes or healthy lifestyle without the mainstream idea of dieting. The public shaming and discrimination has little to do with actual health because if it did we wouldn't be only looking at people who had a certain body type but the people who chose to live their lives that others deemed to be unhealthy.

    We all should have the right to personal autonomy and no one should dictate how we live our lives because the fat rights movement is not about personal health but about the rights of everyone and ending oppression towards fat individuals. Having to constantly prove how much you exercise or eat healthy only feeds into the oppositions hands.

  23. Spilt Milk May 17, 2010 at 7:30 pm #

    Thank you so much for this. Something that I'm finding very hard to reconcile are my beliefs about health (I love HAES), my own eating habits, and my apparent need to 'justify my fat' to others. I tend to preach HAES quite loudly, and also talk quite loudly about how much I love the gym and vegetables — as a way to 'justify my fat.' And the thing is, I do love the gym and vegetables. I also like sitting on the couch for hours at a time, and I like eating icecream out of the tub, and I do both of those things more often than would be considered 'healthy' by many. I've been thinking about this a lot lately, partly because of some bloggy wars that went on in Australia last week, partly because of stuff a friend told me about her own eating habits and 'failing' at HAES. I'm think this good fat/bad fat division is so unhelpful – not only because it's divisive and that's not something FA needs, but because it is actively hurtful to some people. Myself included, if I'm entirely honest about it.

  24. Shishkani May 17, 2010 at 10:25 pm #

    I tried really hard, for a while, to limit my caloric intake and lose weight. I restricted myself to 1500 calories a day. I did a lot more exercise, usually a half hour or more per day.

    And I lost weight; almost 50 pounds, actually, down from my highest point to my absolute lowest. But I was STARVING, all the time. I bought smaller clothes and felt a lot better about myself, but all I could think about was food. And I wasn't even thin – I still had another 30 pounds to go to get to my 'target' weight, which was still pretty heavy for my height.

    I've since gained back perhaps 20 of those pounds, but I think I'm happier not being food obsessed all the time. I kept some of the lessons I learned – I do eat healthier, and I think it's good for me. But I no longer spend all my time desperate for food.

    I'll admit it. I just don't have the self discipline to live that way. But I'm not really ashamed about it, because I'd rather not be that miserable just to fit into a size 14.

  25. sleepydumpling May 18, 2010 at 2:01 am #

    *Applause*!

    I am a moderate fatty – sometimes I’m “super good”, sometimes I’m “super bad” when it comes to my habits… and I really believe it’s nobody’s damn business what I’m eating, how active I am, what the hell I do with MY life.

    And oh my GOD is that liberating. No more having to explain myself, no more scrutiny, no more uncomfortable moment where I feel like I have to prove that I’m “naturally fat and healthy”.

    We need more folks to say it – I’m fat and it’s all none of your business!

  26. Claire May 18, 2010 at 9:36 am #

    THIS.

    That is all.

  27. B. Miller May 18, 2010 at 11:43 am #

    Hey there,

    I caught this on Big Fat Deal and had to share my reaction with you, because reading this meant a lot to me.

    I’ve struggled with this a lot and it feels really good to read someone else with the same concerns. This is why I’m not more involved in the FA movement – often it doesn’t feel like much of a movement at all, because fat people still fall all over themselves to prove how IT’S NOT THEIR FAULT they’re fat, THEY’RE TRYING TO LEAD HEALTHY LIVES NO MATTER WHAT THEIR SIZE so GET OFF THEIR BACKS. Well guess what. I’m NOT trying to eat healthy and exercise, I really don’t have plans to start any time soon, and I don’t give a rat’s ass. I’m happy with myself and my life. If my extended waistline and non-shamed attitude about my complete lack of healthy diet and exercise makes you look at me as less of a person, F&%K OFF. I’m still a valid member of society, a wonderful friend, an intelligent woman, an amazing writer, a loving daughter, and an incredible person. If people don’t see that because of my size, will it really change their minds about me if I’m eating healthy or not? Or will my diet and exercise regime just make them feel better about accepting me – “She IS fat, but she’s working on it so let’s cut her some slack”? HA! I don’t need your slack, jerkfaces.

    Thanks for posting this, I feel liberated. YAY!

  28. Shieldmaiden1196 May 18, 2010 at 8:31 am #

    Reading this just shows me how much interior work I need to do…if I’m rigorously honest I have to admit that discovering HAES made me happy because I felt like I had a means of justifying and accepting my own existence…which, taken on that basis, is no kind of acceptance at all. I have to remind myself that every discussion of dieting and health that takes place in my presence is neither a backhanded condemnation of me nor is it an invitation to preach anything. I don’t need to waste energy checking in with people to make sure they know I’m ‘okay’ or working some kind of program, nor do I have to sell them that program.

  29. Chels May 18, 2010 at 5:08 pm #

    I'm new to your blog, and have been lurking for a little while. I just wanted to say this fucking SPEAKS to me, and I am so grateful to have words from someone who isn't going to apologize. I struggle with my body image, and I struggle with feeling okay when I eat "too much" but you helped me realize (once again) that it is ALL MY CHOICE. Thank you.

  30. Karen May 19, 2010 at 12:19 pm #

    I like the article but I don’t like the picture. Its a skinny person eating a donut, why not have a picture of a real woman not a model?

    • Amy May 19, 2010 at 3:48 pm #

      Skinny models are real women, too.

      • Karen May 20, 2010 at 1:45 pm #

        Ok sorry that was a bad choice of words. But does anyone else know what I mean? Maybe it just irritates me b/c I don't see people who look like that eating donuts. Of course you can only see her face & hands, maybe I am just imagining what the rest of her looks like.

  31. Monica May 20, 2010 at 5:17 pm #

    I have nothing but applause. It's hard to be a "bad fatty" in a blogosphere full of "good fatties" and it's even harder to call out the "bad fatty"/"good fatty" dichotomy as the bullshit that it is when you're one of the "bad fatties." (I'm probably a pretty mediocre fatty, I think.) STANDING OVATION!

  32. susan May 21, 2010 at 4:16 am #

    I have no issues with anyone who is “larger than the norm”, but I wish to almighty they would be as honest as you! I have the problem of being the only slim person in a morbidly obese family of in-laws, and am constantly attacked, ridiculed, and taunted for my “anorexia” (and that of my son – We are both of healthy weight, with appropriate BMI’s for our height.) I must suffer through family get togethers where my in laws stuff themselves with insane amounts of high fat, high sugar food, excuse themselves to take blood samples for insulin med’s, and brag about how little they need to do now they have a new perscription for said disease. Yet, none of them will admit to being overweight, eating the wrong food, getting no exercise, and accuse me of “weight-ism” if I agree/disagree with them. Please, by all means – keep doing what you’re happy with, but have the balls to admit it.

  33. Scattered Marbles May 22, 2010 at 8:04 pm #

    The only concern I have about anything you wrote here is: fast food. I have a seething passionate hate for fast food corporations and it always makes me a little sad when otherwise amazing people regularly support those companies.

    They are still amazing people, what they put in their mouths be it fast food or organic produce, really does not change them, just as what you put in your body doesn't make you any less awesome.

    The little phrase "otherwise amazing people" just hit me so strongly like "you have such a pretty face" or " you would be so beautiful if" and those phrases really get to me so I just wanted to put my two cents in.

  34. Zoey May 23, 2010 at 2:16 am #

    This is the first "fat acceptance" article I've read that has made sense to me. I'm fat. I hate most exercise. I eat because I'm bored, sad, et cetera, and I never find myself craving healthy food.

    While I want to stop loathing myself and buy into this fat acceptance thing, I just can't relate to the fatties who claim they don't eat junk food, love veggies, and go to the gym because they like it, and, of course, feel the need to repeat it in every blog they post, the same way the thin people around me do. Like it buys them cred or something.

    Thanks for this article. I think I'm a step closer to accepting myself because of it.

  35. paolo de andreis May 23, 2010 at 10:12 am #

    Thanks for your great posts Tasha!

    I think It can provide wonderful insights on my side of the Atlantic too, that's why I'm gonna translate it in Italian and publish It in the next few days in the only Italian SA blog.

    Much more than FM or else, I do believe it's of the outmost importance to state our rights, as individuals, to decide our way for ourselves.

    I really appreciated it, thanks again!

    Paolo

  36. spacedcowgirl May 24, 2010 at 3:42 pm #

    Yes–I remember a friend of mine who went on Weight Watchers asking me "It just felt like such a relief to be DOING something–do you know what I mean?" And I–although I struggle mightily with my weight and feeling OK about myself–am glad that I was able to honestly say that I DIDN'T know what she meant, actually. Or more to the point, that I really hate the idea that it should be normal and acceptable for fat people to be tormented unless they are, as you put it, "working on it."

  37. ANO May 30, 2010 at 9:27 am #

    I love this piece. I am currently a bit heavy, and I feel the need to always to apologizing for it – both in words and deeds. Yet I am also not willing to be hungry or give up eating and drinking (especially while everyone around me continues to have a great old time yet I am supposed to accept gnawing hunger), so nothing changes. So (1) I know I am supposed to apologize and explain and let everyone know, yes, yes, I KNOW, I have gained weight and yes, it IS horrible, and (2) I continue to be heavy, so I guess this state of horribleness is something I have succumbed to, and I am a big loser (and not in the good way). I have often wondered, what if I just said I am going to be this size forever? What if I just gave up on never feeling good enough (and I have been a size 6, and I still felt that way!)

    What I like about this piece is that you have decided not to apologize for yourself. That must be so empowering. It is rare to read about a woman who has decided she is good enough as she is!

  38. Bells June 4, 2010 at 6:07 pm #

    I can't say about fat but thats how I feel about my addiction, it's my choice to be an addict and people seem to only think it's okay to do drugs if youre "in recovery" and want to stop.

    People need to accept that we're all people who make our own choices and even if they don't agree with them they need to get over moralizing to other people and trying to make everyone do the "right" thing (in their opinion). You only get one life to live, enjoy it while you can whether that's with junk food or not going to the gym (I hate the gym blech) or doing anything else that people can't seem to accept.

  39. icedteaandlemoncake.wordpress.com June 20, 2010 at 6:42 pm #

    susan, you sound pretty critical of your family members and i sense a little bitof your-food-choices-are-better-than-theirs attitude. they probably don’t come out up front and say they don’t eat all super healthy because of the scorn and stigma they get from people who think they are disgusting either way. cut them some slack and stop looking down your nose at them.

  40. Heather September 18, 2010 at 1:39 pm #

    I think what's important is that you're happy. If I knew you I'd certainly encourage you to eat better, but because you were my friend and I wanted you to be healthy (this wouldn't make a difference if you were fat or thin).. but if you chose to ignore me.. well.. your choice! and hey, let's be honest, that donut in the photo looks *really* fucking tasty. People don't' care about your health when they talk about eating right.. because if you were thin they wouldn't give a shit how many donuts you ate or french fries, or how little you exercised, etc. I'll overcome my instinct to overly care about random people on the internet and talk about health and just say that this was a good post. Thank you.

  41. Christie October 12, 2010 at 7:36 pm #

    YES! I completely agree! Some weeks I am healthy and I jog and eat healthy and other weeks I give into my penchant for anything cheesy, crunchy, or chocolaty… why do I counter act all of that healthy eating and exercise with my "bad" weeks? Because I feel like it. It is nobody's business!

  42. Christie October 12, 2010 at 7:46 pm #

    I like that someone is actually admitting that they eat what THEY want and standing up for their right to eat whatever THEY want… If people want to eat what they want, then let them do it! It's an addiction, just like with drugs or alcohol. The only differences are that we a) Can't just "quit" food and we have to eat it everyday, and b) our addiction can be seen in clear site… for the most part, binging= looking heavier. Why is it that people are stigmatized because they look different? People would never make fun of a drug or alcohol addict but for some reason it's ok to make fun of a food addict?

    On another note, It also annoys me when all these people who are morbidly obese claim that they rarely eat and exercise all the time (Biggest Loser and Thintervention, I'm looking at you). I understand that genetics play a huge role in weight, but if someone is MORBIDLY obese, it is for a reason. It is the person's fault for lying but they wouldn't be doing that if society didn't make them feel so embarrassed for being overweight. I would love it if one of those shows would have people who were overweight or obese and said "yeah, I like to eat!" rather than, "wah wah why me, I'm such a pushover". Maybe if people weren't so scared of being fat from a young age with all of these diet programs, we wouldn't have this problem in the first place. And maybe if society didn't shame them so much, they wouldn't be hiding food up in their room and overeating in order to "nurture" themselves.

    I am sorry for going so off tangent on this post/ rant. What I am saying is that people should be accepted, in a society where "we don't judge" and we tell people to "do what makes them happy", why is it still ok to look down upon fat people? Ridiculous.

  43. Rubadubadoobag February 28, 2011 at 3:36 am #

    'Bad fats' lose the excuse of 'its my genes/medical condition etc'. I agree that they should not need an excuse and they should be free to live their lives without prejudice and abuse … but no more so than smokers, drug and alcohol addicts, or other people who make unhealthy choices.

    However in order to merit that acceptance one must be equally accepting of others, and I question whether a majority in the fatosphere really is, or whether they just want acceptance for themselves. Ive commonly seen the 'defence' on posts at The Guardian on this issue where a fat person will argue that their fatness (a) attracts much more negative attention than smoking and drug addiction etc, and (b) should not since it is much less harmful (it only hurts ourselves etc).

  44. Rubadubadoobag February 28, 2011 at 3:37 am #

    (con't)

    This, in my opinion, is bollocks, and its cowardly as well, to try and win acceptance by pleading with the bullies to focus on a different target (though to be fair it is usually the 'good fats' that are pleading thus). Smokers for example pay far more than fat people towards the healthcare system through taxes, whereas illicit drug addicts have their behaviour criminalised (can you imagine having comfort eating criminalised) and are widely abused and scorned as 'junkies' and accused of having all sorts of character flaws, from a penchant for theft to an inability to hold down a job to bad teeth (if only people knew how many high-flying lawyers abuse drugs). Sure, some drunks and drug addicts hurt others, but that is because they are irresponsible or downright bad people, not because of their addiction. And arguing that smokers should be ostracised than fatties because of passive smoking is similarly weak – I could just as easily argue that fat people pose a bigger risk because of the rare person that hurts others through squashing them on public transport.

  45. Rubadubadoobag February 28, 2011 at 3:37 am #

    (final part)

    To sum up – I agree that the good/bad fat dichotomy is pointless and all people should be accepted regardless of body size – provided they are equally willing to accept me despite my own unhealthy lifestyle choices. I think there are a lot of people in the FA movement that are not of this mindset, who believe that obesity (because of the genetic component, the fact that diets dont work 90% of the time etc) is a special case that is different from other addictions and harmful behaviour and that therefore only fat people (rather than addicts) deserve this acceptance. I think this is a stupid position because it is not true in many cases (such as of the 'bad fats') and also because it fully alienates potential allies such as smokers and even ethnic minorities (who are offended by the false analogy of colour = weight).

  46. Sylvia May 24, 2011 at 10:29 am #

    YES! All too often discrimination against women based on size is dismissed because it’s a discussion about “health”.
    “she’s too skinny/fat, it’s not attractive because it’s not healthy” fuck off.
    I know plenty of attractive people who smoke and people are not afraid to call them physically attractive. I am still attractive if I have a cold, or diabetes, or depression.
    Every mazagine interview with a plus-sized model I’ve ever read ALWAYS discusses how they exist on a diet of seeds and nuts and run for 14 hours a day, but they were just “built this way”. Doing an inhuman amount of exercise or dieting is a get-out-of-jail-free card for size acceptance.

    • Tasha Fierce May 24, 2011 at 9:10 pm #

      I definitely don’t think you’re accepting your size when you’re basically making sure to do everything you can to try to be a smaller size under the guise of exercising and eating little to be a “healthy” fat person. It’s a mental state.

      • Sylvia Sippl May 26, 2011 at 4:49 am #

        Indeed.
        There is actually a point I get to where I’m no longer comfortable with my size (I’m kind’ve there now) and once I reach that point I start to slow down and think about what I’m eating/exercising etc. Once I’m back to my normal fatness I’m pretty happy!
        I actually went to the gym every day for a year and a half and only lost 7 barely noticable kilos… I think after that I started to accept that I’m just kind’ve meant to be this size!!

        Also.. I linked to this post on my blog, at http://www.baseoftheworld.com!
        xx

  47. Sylvia May 24, 2011 at 10:29 am #

    YES! All too often discrimination against women based on size is dismissed because it’s a discussion about “health”.
    “she’s too skinny/fat, it’s not attractive because it’s not healthy” fuck off.
    I know plenty of attractive people who smoke and people are not afraid to call them physically attractive. I am still attractive if I have a cold, or diabetes, or depression.
    Every mazagine interview with a plus-sized model I’ve ever read ALWAYS discusses how they exist on a diet of seeds and nuts and run for 14 hours a day, but they were just “built this way”. Doing an inhuman amount of exercise or dieting is a get-out-of-jail-free card for size acceptance.

    • Tasha Fierce May 24, 2011 at 9:10 pm #

      I definitely don’t think you’re accepting your size when you’re basically making sure to do everything you can to try to be a smaller size under the guise of exercising and eating little to be a “healthy” fat person. It’s a mental state.

      • Sylvia Sippl May 26, 2011 at 4:49 am #

        Indeed.
        There is actually a point I get to where I’m no longer comfortable with my size (I’m kind’ve there now) and once I reach that point I start to slow down and think about what I’m eating/exercising etc. Once I’m back to my normal fatness I’m pretty happy!
        I actually went to the gym every day for a year and a half and only lost 7 barely noticable kilos… I think after that I started to accept that I’m just kind’ve meant to be this size!!

        Also.. I linked to this post on my blog, at http://www.baseoftheworld.com!
        xx

  48. OhVanessa September 29, 2011 at 2:57 am #

    too bad to hear that! and yes there are so many discrimination when you look different from the rest. Because of that I took melanotan ii just to look so tan, so that I will be accepted — but hey it worked. Dieting, getting a tan, having a piercing — we do these things to be accepted.

  49. gametruthordare October 14, 2011 at 6:36 am #

    I do not think you have to accept their size when basically make every effort to try to have a smaller size, on the pretext of exercising and eating a little “healthy” fat person. It’s a mindset.
    games for couples

  50. Therese Lee477 February 29, 2012 at 6:03 pm #

    I have taken on this attitude recently. I used to be an athlete so I am one of those weirdos that enjoys exercising, but I also enjoy eating and have a BIG sweet tooth. I never felt compelled to justify my food choices to others. My biggest critic is always myself. For years I was on the dieting roller coaster because I was told by doctors shilling for Big Pharma and the media that I had to lose 50 lbs to be “healthy”. Then I read Paul Campos’ book, The Obesity Myth and realized that all the studies that the weight loss arguments are based on are junk science funded by the weight loss industry. So now I eat what I want, although I try my best to keep the food as natural as possible (grass-fed meat as opposed to conventionally farmed). But I eat fatty cuts of meat. They taste better and I notice that my brain is less foggy in the afternoon if I eat more fat throughout the day. It energizes me! I eat butter and when I want bread, I choose the kind that tastes the best
    I just wish the media would stop focusing on dieting and focus on things that actually matter, like REAL diseases.

  51. Therese Lee477 March 1, 2012 at 2:03 am #

    I have taken on this attitude recently. I used to be an athlete so I am one of those weirdos that enjoys exercising, but I also enjoy eating and have a BIG sweet tooth. I never felt compelled to justify my food choices to others. My biggest critic is always myself. For years I was on the dieting roller coaster because I was told by doctors shilling for Big Pharma and the media that I had to lose 50 lbs to be “healthy”. Then I read Paul Campos’ book, The Obesity Myth and realized that all the studies that the weight loss arguments are based on are junk science funded by the weight loss industry. So now I eat what I want, although I try my best to keep the food as natural as possible (grass-fed meat as opposed to conventionally farmed). But I eat fatty cuts of meat. They taste better and I notice that my brain is less foggy in the afternoon if I eat more fat throughout the day. It energizes me! I eat butter and when I want bread, I choose the kind that tastes the best
    I just wish the media would stop focusing on dieting and focus on things that actually matter, like REAL diseases.

  52. anon July 9, 2012 at 2:24 pm #

    I don’t understand why any of what you said is something to celebrate.  It doesn’t make any sense to me to be actively proud of making poor choices for yourself.  It actually makes me a little sad and disgusted.  If you actually want people to butt out, why are you screaming it in this provocative manner on the internet?  Perhaps you should send a copy of this to your insurance company, so that when these intentionally poor choices do cause health problems, they won’t waste their money (and drive up everyone else’s rates) paying for your care.  Sure, it’s your choice and your business, but don’t be surprised, and don’t try to call it “fat-shaming”, if some of the responses are negative, given your rather crass, attention-whoring post. 

  53. anon July 9, 2012 at 9:24 pm #

    I don’t understand why any of what you said is something to celebrate.  It doesn’t make any sense to me to be actively proud of making poor choices for yourself.  It actually makes me a little sad and disgusted.  If you actually want people to butt out, why are you screaming it in this provocative manner on the internet?  Perhaps you should send a copy of this to your insurance company, so that when these intentionally poor choices do cause health problems, they won’t waste their money (and drive up everyone else’s rates) paying for your care.  Sure, it’s your choice and your business, but don’t be surprised, and don’t try to call it “fat-shaming”, if some of the responses are negative, given your rather crass, attention-whoring post. 

  54. Sami August 1, 2012 at 12:58 pm #

    I agree. Your body, your business.

  55. Sami August 1, 2012 at 7:58 pm #

    I agree. Your body, your business.

  56. Ellen August 17, 2012 at 4:36 pm #

    Good for you :-)

  57. Ellen August 17, 2012 at 11:36 pm #

    Good for you :-)

  58. Tasha Fierce May 16, 2010 at 4:02 am #

    Yeah, thin people are called "lucky" when they eat junk food and don't gain weight. If you're "unlucky" enough to actually gain weight when you eat junk food, you've committed one of the seven deadly sins.

  59. Christie October 12, 2010 at 7:30 pm #

    AMEN TO THIS! Thin people can sit and giggle about how they ate this and that and LOVVVVE food and eat soo much and be laughed with. If a fat person does than it is just unacceptable. I'm chubby and I say whatever the hell I want! ;P

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